fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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