How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
