So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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