I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Randomize
