You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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