if i died would you start the facebook group?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
