bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
