...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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