after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
