I can text with my tongue
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
