No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
