when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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