So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
