He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i just had sex bonerless
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
