oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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