i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
