But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
