they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
