I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
