I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I can't trust your balls anymore.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
