I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
