you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
