I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
