i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
