she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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