I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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