You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
