Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
