I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize