So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
