Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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