i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize