I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
