My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Randomize
