Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
