My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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