Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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