just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
