It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I miss vodka workout Fridays
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
