why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
