He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
