Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
