I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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