Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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