how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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