If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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