He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
