let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
