Duck Duck Cougar?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I wear drunk well.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
