Just fell off a train. Bad.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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