fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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