In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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