you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
