Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
