weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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