woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
