just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize