That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
