Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
