sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
