he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Found your dick twin last night
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
