What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
4 words: hood of his car
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
